Sunday, November 16, 2008

Disaster Movie

For cinema lovers, one of the hotly debated and followed lists is the IMDb top 250 movies, its like the holy grail of lists about movies. From checking how many movies one has finished off in the list, to debating on the Godfather vs. The Dark Knight positions, i can fairly admit that its an integral part of our lives (however lame). But an equally (if not more) entertaining and largely overlooked list is the IMDB bottom 100 movies; the so-bad-that-its-good list of movies. Outrageous titles, obnoxious plots and well an allround lameness that indeed is so bad that it can be termed creative, to say the least. Sample this: Die Hard Dracula, The Tony Blair Witch project, Santa with muscles, 3 Ninjas: High tea at Mega mountain; yes these movies have actually been made and named so!


Funnier yet are the plots of some other movies:

The Maize: The Movie - "A father's psychic abilities are put to the test when his two daughters are trapped inside of a corn maze haunted by the spirits of two young girls who disappeared a year earlier." Ah, look at the clever pun, corn-maze -maize ?! Woh.

Super Babies: Baby geniuses 2 - "A group of smart-talking toddlers find themselves at the center of a media mogul's experiment to crack the code to baby talk. The toddlers must race against time for the sake of babies everywhere." The baby talk code??! that must be a national priority.

Aztec Mummy vs. the Human Robot - "A mad doctor builds a robot in order to steal a valuable Aztec treasure from a tomb guarded by a centuries old living mummy." This is like a The Mummy meets the terminator. True convergence of past and the future!

Barney's Great adventure - "Mom and dad dump son Cody, daughter Abby, her best friend Marcella and a baby on the farm with Grandpa and Grandma. Purple dinosaur Barney soon appears to entertain kids, and when a large colorful egg deposited on a farm by a shooting star is accidentally carted off, Barney and kids start their chase for it." Purple dinosaur?! shooting star?! did a very stupid person do LSD to write the script?

Chairman of the Board - "A surfer becomes the head of a major company" Ah, clever pun again. True creativity, i say.

And my personal favourite -
It's Pat - "Pat Riley, an obnoxious busybody of undeterminable sex, meets and falls in love with Chris, a sensitive, caring person also of undeterminable sex. Their relationship suffers because Pat's a lout, and cannot decide on a direction for its life. Meanwhile, Pat's neighbor Kyle falls further and further into obsession with Pat, fascinated by its indeterminate sexuality." Fascinating. With its layers of uncertainty and obbsessions with indeterminate sexuality, this movie would have explored a hitherto unknown kind of ..umm.. indeterminate relationships!


And not to be left very far behind is our very own desi Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag. Legendary movie must say. Only Indian movie in any IMDb list!

As Ed Wood would articulate about such a movie:
"This story's gonna grab people. It's about this guy, he's crazy about this girl, but he likes to wear dresses. Should he tell her? Should he not tell her? He's torn, Georgie. This is drama."

3 comments:

Gyrovague said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Or tu mujhe gaali marta tha ki mein jhand movie dekhta hoon. Waise, keep up the good work & also get a life.

Anonymous said...

Insanely funny!
"corn-maze", "a direction for its life"...haha
I think Ed Wood's 'Plan 9 from Outer Space' should be on top of that list.