8 things i realised in 2008

1. The only reason refrigerators were invented is that you should have a never ending supply of chilled beer.

2. Being lazy is more satisfying than stocking up your fridge with beer.

3. One is either presented with the stupidity of stupid news or the depression of depressing news. Is it so dumb and dark out there?

4. The only true prophet of our times is Barney Stinson; the Bro Code, the Crazy-Hot Graph, the Chain/Circle/Pyramid of screaming, he's got an answer to everything. Legen-wait for it-dary!

5. The easiest way to make people read a blog is to make a list.

6. There are two ways to feel happy, satisfied and fulfilled with your life. Neither of them works.

7. Remember the great things science taught you about life; the stars, planets, physics, atoms, motion, geology, psychology, Heisenberg's uncertainty principle? Now remember credit cards, Java, Sensex? How things change.

8. Well, Whatever. Here's to life; take it with a pinch of salt...a dash of lemon and a shot of tequila! :D

A Happy New year.

Mumbai: 26/11

The only thing i have been doing over the past two days is to follow the events in Mumbai, either over T.V or the internet, the rescue operations and stories of courage in this terrible tragedy. The sheer audacity, barbarism and magnitude of these attacks was overwhelming. This was not just an attack on life, property but on the collective confidence of a nation, a psychological warfare so to say. The image of those terrorists; with their AK-47s, of the fire at the Taj, and the Oberoi and NSG commandos carrying out their operations flashing across T.V. channels is going to dominate our collective conscious for a while now. The sheer shock value of these attacks was a bit overwhelming.

The stories of courage shown by people, not just elite commandos, but the hotel staff who risked their lives for the guests showed us what true heroism is. And even as we mourn, we must ask, where does India go from here? This is not just some attack happening to someone else. It happened in India's backyard, and it can happen to anyone, anywhere. Do we forget it after a week with the quintessential Indian reponse chalta hai/hota hai? Or do we ask questions and seek answers? This is big.

I don't know what solution this problem entails. But from the face of it, we atleast need better and dedicated disaster management, and a federal body focussing on terror. And have political will to take military action, if necessary. This is India's 9/11. How our country goes from here depends on whether we learn from it this time or not.

Disaster Movie

For cinema lovers, one of the hotly debated and followed lists is the IMDb top 250 movies, its like the holy grail of lists about movies. From checking how many movies one has finished off in the list, to debating on the Godfather vs. The Dark Knight positions, i can fairly admit that its an integral part of our lives (however lame). But an equally (if not more) entertaining and largely overlooked list is the IMDB bottom 100 movies; the so-bad-that-its-good list of movies. Outrageous titles, obnoxious plots and well an allround lameness that indeed is so bad that it can be termed creative, to say the least. Sample this: Die Hard Dracula, The Tony Blair Witch project, Santa with muscles, 3 Ninjas: High tea at Mega mountain; yes these movies have actually been made and named so!


Funnier yet are the plots of some other movies:

The Maize: The Movie - "A father's psychic abilities are put to the test when his two daughters are trapped inside of a corn maze haunted by the spirits of two young girls who disappeared a year earlier." Ah, look at the clever pun, corn-maze -maize ?! Woh.

Super Babies: Baby geniuses 2 - "A group of smart-talking toddlers find themselves at the center of a media mogul's experiment to crack the code to baby talk. The toddlers must race against time for the sake of babies everywhere." The baby talk code??! that must be a national priority.

Aztec Mummy vs. the Human Robot - "A mad doctor builds a robot in order to steal a valuable Aztec treasure from a tomb guarded by a centuries old living mummy." This is like a The Mummy meets the terminator. True convergence of past and the future!

Barney's Great adventure - "Mom and dad dump son Cody, daughter Abby, her best friend Marcella and a baby on the farm with Grandpa and Grandma. Purple dinosaur Barney soon appears to entertain kids, and when a large colorful egg deposited on a farm by a shooting star is accidentally carted off, Barney and kids start their chase for it." Purple dinosaur?! shooting star?! did a very stupid person do LSD to write the script?

Chairman of the Board - "A surfer becomes the head of a major company" Ah, clever pun again. True creativity, i say.

And my personal favourite -
It's Pat - "Pat Riley, an obnoxious busybody of undeterminable sex, meets and falls in love with Chris, a sensitive, caring person also of undeterminable sex. Their relationship suffers because Pat's a lout, and cannot decide on a direction for its life. Meanwhile, Pat's neighbor Kyle falls further and further into obsession with Pat, fascinated by its indeterminate sexuality." Fascinating. With its layers of uncertainty and obbsessions with indeterminate sexuality, this movie would have explored a hitherto unknown kind of ..umm.. indeterminate relationships!


And not to be left very far behind is our very own desi Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag. Legendary movie must say. Only Indian movie in any IMDb list!

As Ed Wood would articulate about such a movie:
"This story's gonna grab people. It's about this guy, he's crazy about this girl, but he likes to wear dresses. Should he tell her? Should he not tell her? He's torn, Georgie. This is drama."

Humpty Dumpty sat on The Wall

"Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of arithmetic -- Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision." - The Mock Turtle, Alice in wonderland

You would be forgiven to think that this post is an ode to the days of nursery rhymes, what with all the reference to Humpty Dumpty and Alice in Wonderland. As quaint as these analogies might sound, i couldn't but help invoking them in the context of Wall Street and The financial mess for the sake of irony; who would imagine a nursery rhyme to have lessons for few of the smartest people on Earth?

As most of us know, the entire thing started with housing bubble, loans were given to people who couldn't afford it and had dubious payment histories and it was assumed that house prices would rise indefinitely thus providing a security against any loss. Well, if only Economics 101 was studied more carefully! Not to be left far behind, Wall Street jumped into this by buying Mortgage Backed Securities (MBS) from lenders, thus spreading the risk of such sub-prime borrowers. Since these people couldn't afford their payments, they started defaulting on their loans, causing a viscious spiral resulting in the sub-prime crisis and the fall of the Wall Street. To cut a long story short, Greed was not good.

This is a larger problem, one of consumption driven by borrowed money and an entire culture of credit. Where you earn 100 but spend 200. And one which is beginning to unravel as America (and the rest of the world) begins to understand that such greed is simply not sustainable. Now, i have been opinionated about the government-industry complex, but this problem is far more critical as it is a reflection on an entire culture of the populace not understanding what consumption within their means is.

Economics they say is the science of incentive. When the incentive is growth, it leads to prosperity. But when greed (and not to mention lack of common sense!) supersedes growth, it leads to destruction of financial values and institutions and can have large reaching effects. While the way forward is definitely through tighter regulations of such complex financial instruments like MBS, it would do America (and the world) a whole lot of good to understand that such unmanageable debt (American debt is over $ 11 trillion! thats 15 times India's economy), as a way of economy, is not sustainable.

Will the Humpty Dumpty be put back again? America still does have strength in their educational institutions and democracy (so called) and i do really hope it is as my daal roti to a certain extent depends on Americans' propensity to spend. But Humpty Dumpty's great fall might just be the biggest stories of our times!

P.S. "When Genius Failed" by Roger Lowenstein is an excellent read on Wall Street, its businessmen and bankers, and its uninhibited greed

Yes, On The Dark Knight

The most talked about movie of the year. The most reviewed movie of the year. The most written about movie of the year. But i'm still going to write about The Dark Knight because its the best movie to come out in years and because i feel there's a need to defend its No. 3 spot on IMDB.

The Dark Knight starts off from where Batman Begins left off, only its a whole new level of movie making and characterisation altogether. If BB explored the origins and beginning of Batman, TDK explores Batman's flaws, limitations and still yet the symbology of what Batman stands for.

Let me do away with the conventional praise of effects, technical brilliance and acting. The movie truly hinges and revolves around the manic and brilliant performance of Heath Ledger as The Joker. There are some actors who understand their roles like seasoned performers and come up with great performances. And then again, there are some who just possess the character, make it their own. The Joker as a performance and as a character is truly complete in itself. The Joker begins of as somewhat of a loony, with fuzzy intentions. But as the story progresses we realise what he's doing; playing with the psychology of Gotham and its heroes, turning good into bad, order into chaos, rules into anarchy and hope into despair. While his origins are very cleverly hidden (multiple stories on his scar) to make the character complete; an agent of chaos, we come to realise that here's a villian who's not motivated by money, greed or revenge but simply by a desire to see the world burn and turn into madness. Joker is the true story teller here, conjuring up a master psychological play.

However, the essence of the story lies in the symbology of Batman. As a physical entity we come to realise that he's vulnerable, not limitless. But as a symbol; of hope or despair he can be anything. And he understands this precisely by saving Dent's image in the end. Batman is what Gotham needs him to be. A flawed hero for a flawed world.

What Nolan has delivered here is an Empire Strikes Back of a Batman movie; a masterpiece depicting a superhero as he would be in a true world and a morality which is real, not out of a comic book. And we're likely to see a Batman redeeming himself in the next; The Return of Batman perhaps?

What's your story?

"When the doors of perception are cleansed, man will see things as they truly are, infinite" - William Blake

Story telling is one of those great art forms, which not only entertains but also has the ability to render different perceptions of this world to us. But when it comes to oneself, most of us don't have a very fertile imagination. Reality is pretty mundane isn't it? Why is finding a story for your life elusive?

Being unofficially rechristened as IMDB, it should be no surprise when i use cinema as my muse. Big Fish (2003), King of California (2007) & Kung Fu Panda (2008) are movies that are great stories in themselves. But the point they are trying to drive is larger, and one which makes story telling such an effective medium. Big Fish is about a son learning about his dying father through stories and myths about him. Stories which seem to be concocted out of a fertile imagination are actually very clever metaphors. King of California is about a mentally unstable father trying to convince his daughter that there is Spanish treasure buried somewhere below California. And well, Kung Fu Panda is one of those totally kickass Jack Black movies about your dreams and purpose in life (with awesome kung fu, awesome dialogues and sheer awesomeness). Now, before you start branding me an escapist with rose tinted glasses, theres something common to all these movies, and at the heart of these movies. And thats the use of stories,myths and imaginations to tell us how important perception is to the way we see reality. So whether its having an adventurous life, a purpose in the madness or achieving awesomeness (:D got to see that again). That perception is the looking glass through which we see this world. And that our lives can be just as special, just as full of story as we want it to be. And thats a very powerful message, existential even, that we have the ability to change the perception.

Now theres a difference in thinking that everything is hunky-dory always and things will always work out. But we, all of us, do have the answer to our existential concerns in ourselves. Just open the different doors.Infinite doors.

Into the Wild

Have you ever had the feeling of giving it all up; the money, the society, the comforts , the purpolessness and just get away from the madding crowd? Well, i have had that feeling now and then. But stand alone impulses are little more than escapist thoughts. That someone my age actually had the courage and conviction to do this and test his own limits of existence is the subject of this blog.

I recently got a chance to watch the incredible movie 'Into the Wild' by Sean Penn. Its based on a true story of a 23 year old guy Christopher McCandless. Christopher was a top student, athlete and a generally liked guy. The kind you would expect to end up with a college degree and become the alpha male he is expected to be. But contrary to every expectation, Christopher donated all his life savings to charity, burnt all the money he had and set off on a journey; in search of 'truth'. Its partly a spiritual quest and partly a journey to get away from the society that has put him in the bondage of money and comforts. The movie deals with his journey across US, the people he meets and his ultimate sojourn in the wilderness in Alaska, where he tragically perishes.

The story is more than that of a lost youth, or of a rebel going against conventional wisdom and family. The soul of the movie is in this spiritual journey that Chris undertakes to know 'truth' and the various people he meets on this journey that leave an indelible mark on his psyche and vice versa. And ultimately, in the wilderness, Chris realises the utter helplessness of a man faced with the raw power of nature.

This spiritual quest of Chris makes him realize that happiness is true only when shared. But ironically, the ruthlessness of the wild leads to his untimely death, all of 23 years, alone in the wild. The parting shot of the movie is easily one of the tragic ones i have seen.

Full marks must go to Sean Penn, Emil Hirsche, the cinematographer for the awesome use of camera to portray both the beauty and power of nature and Eddie Vedder for a soundtrack that'll blow your mind away. And although the movie ends on a tragic note, the heart of the movie is anything but tragic, its one of intellectual freedom, the spirit of questioning and the enormous courage of one man faced against this crazy world. Watch it. It'll change the way you think.

It's been a long time since i rock n roll....

So sings Robert Plant. Yeah, that Led Zeppelin guy. What a band, and what an era of music: Classic rock. It was a period when guitars were used as weapons, mass collaborators, medicines and simply to blow your minds away. A time when Woodstock was a message, of rebellion, of change and simply of awesome music. Being a huge fan of classic rock, i thought it might be fun compiling "My favourite Classic Rock songs" list. Ah, but that would tend to run into a few hundreds and in keeping with my principles of laziness (more of that later), it would be the top ten. Yeah, i hear you, that's .. umm .. tough (and needless to say, subjective). But what the heck. I love lists. So here it goes:

Rock n Roll - Led Zeppelin : The sheer energy in this, or for that matter any Led Zep song, is unmatchable. Plant sings with a rabid fervor. But its Page's electrifying guitar and Bonham's insane drumming that makes Led Zeppelin The Band and this song, the quintessential Zeppelin song.

Achilles Last Stand - Led Zeppelin : This song probably has the best drumming, ever, in any rock song. It faster than you can think, but not without a rhythm. And what guitaring: Its almost like Page and Bonham conspire to take rock music to another level. Ah, with Led Zep, I could go on.

Freebird - Lynryd skynryd : Starts off slowly. But somewhere along the way, it just ..explodes. Insanely fast guitaring and drumming which matches up to it. But if you want a real feel of Freebird, watch Forrest Gump.

Born to be Wild - Steppenwolf : The bikers and any free soul's anthem and the benchmark song for metal. But for me, the reason this song is so special is because of the lyrics and the liberating feel to it. With words like :

Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space

you have to love this song. Perhaps, watching "Easy Rider" will make you realise what i'm saying.

All Along the Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix : When Hendrix strums, its like a musical epiphany. Are you experienced?

Roadhouse Blues - The Doors : The Doors is not quite like any other band. That is perhaps why they stood out. And when Morrison Sings "A keep your eyes on the road.." , its a call for beer, fun and some more beer and fun. Ah, i love this song.

Another Brick In the Wall 1,2,3- Pink Floyd : Its not just an anthem for rebels. Its a masterpiece of a conceptualization by Roger Waters. I mean, "Hey, teachers, leave the kids alone!". Where all the words gone now?

Highway Star - Deep Purple : Now this song is a style statement. Heavy guitars and smart ass lyrics. Deep Purple at their best.

Heartbraker - Led Zeppelin : Ok, so by now you have gathered that Led Zep is my favourite band. :D. But seriously, what a riff; guitar speaks its own language here eh?

Like a Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan. There once was a man. Neither could be sing very well, nor play guitar like a magician. But he nevertheless turned out to be the most enigmatic and influential of rock musicians. Theres something about Dylan isn't it? And its amply evident in this song. An ode to the underdog in himself perhaps? Whatever. He's not there.

P.S. CCR, Dire Straits amd other songs i'm ignorant about aren't bad either.